The problom with humans
by KOHANAISYOURMASTER
Summary: When Ash finds a egg and Gary comes to visit, what will happen to our poor hero? And why does that Umbreon keep making passes at Pikachu? YAOI, PALLETSHIPPING.


**The problom with humans...**

**Me:My first pokemon story... Be kind, I havn't watched the origional season in a long time.**

**Gary:...Hn...**

**Ash:Hey, who are you? I've never seen you before! What's your name?**

**Me:I'm Kohana, you're Ash Ketchum, and he's Gary Oak. Ash, your first pokemon was a Pikachu that took great joy in thunder bolting you whenever it could. Gary, I beleive that your first pokemon was a... Evey, right?**

**Gary:0.0... hn.**

**Ash:STALKER.**

**Me:NO I'M NOT! THOSE ARE NORMAL THINGS THAT A YAOI-POKEMON-LOVER SHOULD KNOW SINCE YOUR RIVALRY WAS CLEARLY A COVER-UP FOR YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER!...**

**Ash:...**

**Gary:...**

**Me:...Oops.(Runs away from the angery-pokemon-trainers and their pokemon.)**

**THIS IS TOLD FROM PIKACHU'S POINT OF VIEW!...mostly... I DO NOT OWN!**

This is human-talk:"Bleh."  
>This is poke-talk<em>:"Bleh."<br>_This is thought for pokes:_'Bleh.'  
><em>**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**

**Pika's P.O.V-**

I sighed as Ash climbed into a tree, after a emerald-colored pokemon egg that he had been watching for about-what time was it now?- 10 hours to see if it's mother, he had watched it's father get captured by some trainer that hopped into a veical when we ran after him, were coming back anytime soon.

She didn't.

So, he had started climbing up the tree, after the bird-pokemon's abandoned egg, and a small sniff told me that the bird was a mix between a icy blue bird pokemon, it's mother that had disappeared while crying out and surrounded in what I think was a personal blizzard, and a atmitably handsom spearow that was twice the size of the other spearows, probaly the Great Leader that I've heard the other spearow talking abo- WHAT WAS THAT? I tensed when I realized that it was the sound of wings.

I twisted my head up to look where Ash was seated in the tree, next to the nest, and started yelling while running over to it, _"ASH, ASH, GET DOWN FROM THERE! I THINK THAT POKEMON IS COMING BACK! ASH!"_ Of course, he didn't lisen to me._ "I KNOW THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME, ASH! **GET DOWN HERE, NOW**!"_

"Easy, Pikachu, _easy_. I can see from here, and it's not that blue bird pokemon. It's a Pidgioto, and a trainer's on it's back, so we're _ok_." Ash called down to me, waving his hand in a motion that he obvously thought was a calming motion. **IT WAS NOT CALMING!**

_"Still Ash, it could come back soon."_ I said, running around the base of the tree, my worry getting the best of me.

"Worry-wart." Ash teased as he started to slowly climb down, the egg cradled gentally in his arms.

At that moment, the pidgioto landed below the tree that Ash was in and who would you guess would jump off?

If you guessed Gary Oak, here's a pokemon treat.

The Oak child had always been able to make Ash flustered and blush, it was apparently his favorite sport, weither in embaressment or anger that he reddened. Said Oak smirked at me as he put Pidgioto back into his pokeball and let out his favorite pokemon, a Umbreon named Darkshadow that had been evolved from Gary's Evey. I quickly backed away when Darkshadow noticed me.

_"Why, if it isn't little Thundertree."_ I shivered when he spoke my true-name. _"How have you been, my mate-to-be?"_ He purred, rubbing his face against my red marks on my cheeks.

I quickly pushed him off before he could feel me shiver-with want or fear is what I question myself with- and replied with, _"It's nice to see you once again, Darkshadow, but for the last time, I'm not mating with you. Now, how have you and Gary been?"_

Darkshadow snarled lighly before turning back to his flirty, happy dementor. _"Let's not talk about any of the others, love. Let's just talk about us. Just you and me."_ Darkshadow got close to me again and traced my zig-zaging tail with his own, forcing me to fight back a shiver.

I remembered Ash and bounced away from him, smiling slightly when he jumped and poofed up at my sudden movement, and said, _"Sorry that I can't play with you right now, Darkshadow, but I have to make sure that Ash dosn't kill himself while climbing down one-handed with that blasted egg. I'll see you later!"_

I jumped for the tree again but was stopped when I felt teeth on the back of my neck and I was pried away from the tree, a paw pressing gentally to my rump.

_"O-OI!"_ I yelled, struggling against Darkshadow's hold.

_"You don't have to worry about your partner, Thundertree."_ Darkshadow purred into my ear and rubbed his chin against the top of my head, spreading his sent across me. _"MY partner's taking good care of him and his little egg. Look."_

Out of curiosoty, and NOT because he told me to, and jumped up, throwing the other, darker pokemon off, and glared at Gary.

The reason?

Gary was sitting below the tree, the egg in one hand, Ash's butt in the other, and was smirking as my partner squirmed in his hold. The bastard just simply smirked as he did and set him on his lap, bitting his lip as Ash squirmed more and reached for the egg.

Gary P.O.V-

"Give it back, Gary!" Ash yelled as he frantically reached for the egg that I balanced in my hand, wriggling that tight little arse against my crotch, making a special friend start lifting up. "I have to take care of that egg!"

"And why is that, Ashy-boy?" I mummered into the black-haired boy's ear, letting myself indulge in my adoration by gentally biting the other's ear and fighting back a moan at the taste of cinnimon that seemed to sling to his skin.

"Th-that's because..." Ash wimpered out as I layed my lips across his neck and gentally sucked, just barily any suction.

"Because...?" I wispered, laying down the egg in a natural-made nest beside us and leaning farther back on the tree, letting my hand wander over his slightly expossed skin between his shirt and baggy pants, holding back snickers when I saw my Umbreon trying to top Ash's Pikachu. 'Go get 'im, boy!' I mentally crowed to him as he bit the back of the other's neck firmly and climbed abord, a look in his eyes that practicually screamed 'THIS IS MINE. TOUCH AND DIE.'

"B-because I-I couldn't cetch the p-person th-that st-stole it's f-f-father...Like m-mine was..." Ash muttered, leaning against me with ease, letting me take over his body.

But at these words, I froze, and wrapped my arms around his waist, picking up the egg to place it in his lap, and muttered as he came out of his me-induced high. "Let's look after this egg then, ok? You can be it's mom, and I'LL be it's dad." I quickly pressed his lips to mine as he turned around to argue with me, cradling the egg like it was a baby, and when I pulled away, his eyes were half-masted, a dark blush had settaled across his honey-golden skin, a small trail of liquid dripped from his mouth as he leaned forward for another kiss, which I gladly gave him.

Pikachu P.O.V-

I started charging up for a thunder bolt as I watched the Oak child molest my partner and place the egg out of harms way._ 'Perfect.'_ Ash probally wouldn't feel this because of how many times I've shocked him before, but I still toned it down a little, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and electrocute the brown-haired, green-eyed bastard.

"Give it back, Gary!" Ash yelled as Gary held his new baby-yes, the egg is now his baby by pokemon rules- out of his reach, the bastard's smirk widdening as my partner wriggled in his lap.

I tensed even more as he shifted my partner, giving me a perfect shot.

That is, it WOULD have been perfect if Darkshadow would have just left me alone.

The other pokemon chose to jump on me at that time, gripping onto the back of my neck with sharp teeth a little to tightly to just be playing, and I crindged as he climbed ontop of me.

_"GET OFF!"_ I yelled at him, but was unable to move because he then chose to bite harder and thrust his hips into my arse._ "O-OI, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"_

_"Claiming what's MINE."_ Darkshadow snarled as he pressed me tighter against the forest floor, and I felt his arousment press against the only opening that I had.

_"N-NO!"_ I squeaked out as I faught against him, then froze as I heard him wimper.

_"Why?"_ I heard him wisper, letting go of my neck. _"Why don't you love me like you love your partner? Why don't you love me MORE than you love anyone? Why can I never have you to myself for just a while? Why do you have to be so damn caring?"_ I shivered again as I felt him hold me tight against him.

"I love you, won't you love me too?"

A gasp slipped from both mine and Ash's mouths as the same words came from both Darkshadow's and the bastard's mouths at the same time, and the next thing I know, I'm laying on my back, the emerald-colored egg on my left, a rock to my right, and Darkshadow hanging above me, black eyes smoldering and sad. I glanced over at Ash, who was being cuddled by the bastard, looking for help, and shot my head back when I heard Darkshadow growl.

**_"Don't look at him!"_** The Umbreon above me snarled, then his voice softened as he leaned in closer, nuzzling my lips with his own in a human equivilence of a kiss, though simply a mark of trust in the pokemon world, and muttered, _"If just this once, please, only look at me, and me alone."_ With those words, he let his face fall to my shoulder.

I thought for a moment, took in all his goods and bads, all his downsides and upsides, the darkness that he trys to hide and the light that shines threw everything, and I finally desided something. _"Let me up, please, Darkshadow."_ I smiled at him as he looked at me, as though trying to see what I wanted. _"Don't worry, I won't run away. I just want to take you somewhere."_

Still untrusting a little, but trying to show that he loved me still, he climbed off and waited for me to stand. I smiled at him and walked off, twitching my tail in a 'come, come' motion and my smile widdened as I felt his body heat on my arse from how close he was fallowing. I snickered as I thought of what I was about to do and how funny his face was going to be.

Swinging around quickly, I pressed my nose to his(1) and walked over to a thick plot of trees, where I bent over and waved my arse at him, inviting him over before jumping into a large hole in the ground that smelled like a very, very, very old vulpix hole, calling behind me at his uncertain look, _"Well, I thought that you wanted me for your mate, didn't you? And if you honestly think that I'm going to mate with you in the wide open AND infront of mine and you parnter, you've got something else coming. Now, hurry up, Darkshadow~"_

I smiled again as I heard Darkshadow howl with joy. I was quickly plowed down then dragged deeper into the hole before I was gentally placed down and mounted.

Gary P.O.V-

I smirked again when I saw mine and Ash's partners disspear into the forest. _'Go, my friend, I have taught you all I can. NOW GO SCREW YOUR UKE INTO THE GROUND!'_ But my smirk disspeared as I heard Ash wimper from his place in my arms. "What's wrong, love?" I questioned him, rocking him slightly as I felt him shiver slightly.

"Why?" I mummered, holding the egg closer to him.

"Why what, love?" I asked. Ok, now, I was confused.

"Why me? You could have any girl... Why me?" He asked again, looking up at me with those dark, breath-taking eyes.

I quickly got my air back and said, "Because you're the only one that has ever stood up to me without the idea that it could get my attention. Because you're just so kind and happy, even threw all the things that you've seen and had done to you. Because of the way you care about pokemon and people alike, no matter even if they were your enimies at one time or another. Because you've always had the same love for pokemon, even after ten years of training. Because you're you, Ash, and you don't change that for anyone. I love you FOR you, you idiot." I held him tighter as he started to yell at me, and muttered before biting his ear, "But, you're MY idiot."

"Sure, whatever you say, you ass." Ash muttered as he leaned against my chest. "Put you're MY ass."

"No, THIS is your ass. Which will be mine right after we get near a indoor flat surface. Like a wall or your front door." I teased him as I roughly grabbed his arse, smirking when he yelped.

"Like hell! If **ANYONE'S** ass is getting claimed, it's going to be _**YOUR'S**_." Ash yelled and squirmed against me even more.

Without thinking, I grabbed the front of his pants and palmed his growing erection, muttering, "How 'bout the larger one get to top?"

Ash smirked and layed the egg down on the little natural nest, covered it with grass, and turned over to start pulling down my zipper, pulling out my rapidly hardening legnth out of my boxers, kneeling down to breath on my cock and wisper sexily as he ghost his lips over me, "Sounds fun. How 'bout we start?"

I promply picked him up and put us in a 69 postion, him on his hands and knees over me with his crotch pointing to my face and him hovering over mine. Taking off his pants completly and pulling him down to my face, I muttered, "Get to it, Ashy-boy." and shoved his entire cock into my mouth, fingering his hole a little.

I smirked as I heard him wimper and quickly put his mouth around mine erection, sucking hard on me and moaning. I smirked even more as he bucked onto my finger as it dipped teasingly into his hole and I sucked hard at the exact same time.

My Ash was just so cute and sexy.

After teasing him a few more times, I let him out of my mouth with a wet pop and picked him up off me, making him whine and reach for me again. "Easy, easy." I mummbled as realized that we had a small crowd of pokemon surrounding us, and smirked as Ash fluffed up as they started to chatter, myself knowing full well that he can understand them. I took one look at both of our pieces and said quiet plainly, "Mine's bigger. I top intell yours is bigger than mine."

Ash chunked his shirt at me and grummbled as I dodged, putting his pants on as well. After we had been fully dressed, Ash still having a boner, I proudly saw, I stole a quick kiss from him and pick Pidgioto's pokeball, smirking when I saw both of our partners walking over to us, my Umbreon prancing over with a extra skip in his step, though never getting more than five inches away from Pikachu and snarling at anything at sniffed/looked at what was his for to long, and Ash's Pikachu walking with a limp, but looked happy. Teasingly, I said to them as I let Pidgioto out of her ball, "I know what you two did~"

Umbreon just smirked at me(I SWEAR it by Ash's ass, he smirked!) and picked Pikachu up by his scruff before hopping on Pidgioto.

Pikachu' P.O.V-

I looked at my mate as I stiffly sat down on Ash's lap, Darkshadow wrapping himself around me, and said, _"I **hate** you, you stupid little Umbreon."_ while shifting from the pain in my arse. I may be a carrying male(2), but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt!

Darkshadow smiled at me and licked his chest, cleaning me a little more, and muttered, _"I love you too, Thundertree... Now sleep."_

So, I did just that, knowing full-well that the bastard that I was curling up with had gotton me pregnate.

_**_Three weeks later_**_

I burried my ears into my mate's fur once more and groaned as Ash's scream of pleasure peirced threw the large house, and Darkshadow growled as he licked my ears, muttering random words into them to try to calm me. _"The problom with humans, you see,"_ I told him as the night FINALLY became silent, _"Is that they won't stop for anything but passing out, and maybe not even THEN, once they get started on sex."_

Umbreon simply nodded tiredly and used his nose to curl me up tighter to him, laying his snout on my very-pregnate belly before sighing and going to sleep, myself soon fallowing.  
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**Me:Well, Ta-da! Please reveiw!(Runs away from Ash and Gary again.)**

(1)This is a true pokemon kiss. Sorta like frenching in the human way.

(2)Male pokemon that can carry childens... I don't know if this is true, this is my story, so NYAAAN!XP


End file.
